600 Million Year Old Fossils of Tiny Humanoids Found In Antarctica
The fossils have been flown to the National Institute of ancient studies in Washington DC for further analysis.
In the rocky terrain of The Whitmore Mountain range in Antarctica fossilized skeletal remains have been found of what seems to be extremely small humans.
Interestingly enough, this discovery was made while Yours Truly was in Antarctica on an assignment for The National Reporter to debunk a ridiculous tabloid story about a UFO base in the area.
While investigating this silly story with several colleagues, we happened to stumble upon a group of palaeontologists who were searching for evidence that dinosaurs had once roamed the Antarctic continent before it tore loose from Africa and South America and drifted southward to its present location.
What they found instead astonished them, not only because of what it was but because of its age.
“We tested the fossils and have determined without a shadow of a doubt that they are at least 600 million years old.” Doctor Marly of Cambridge University told us.
“600 million years ago, jellyfish first appeared. There were no human beings in the world and there wouldn’t be any for nearly five hundred and 60 million years. There weren’t even any dinosaurs around at that time.”
“The first skeleton we found was hidden within the layers of a large piece of sedimentary rock that we had broken loose from the mountainside.
We knew that it would most likely contain some fossils because of its type and age.” Dr.Marly explained.
“When we split the rock apart we were completely confused. Here was this fossil from an age when the appearance of the first vertebrates was still millions of years off and it was a complete skeleton. And not only that, it appeared to be human.”
“The second skeleton was a very good specimen, Unlike the first one, the second skeleton was in a fully extended position with excellent detail.” Dr. Marly told us.
“It is quite obvious from our study of these skeletons that they are definitely human and not a species of primate. Who they were and how large their population was and if they were technologically advanced is a complete mystery.”
The fossils have been flown to the National Institute of ancient studies in Washington DC for further analysis.
The National Reporter will be doing a follow-up report on this amazing discovery within the next few months.
The National Reporter would also like to stress to our readers that these tiny fossilized humanoid skeletons are not the remains of extraterrestrial aliens as we expect the tabloids will be reporting it when the news breaks.
If you encounter any stories of these fossils that claim they are extra-terrestrial in origin, please ignore them.
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NEXT UP!
Magellan’s Strange Encounter With The 10-Foot Giants of Patagonia
IN 1520, FERDINAND Magellan took time out of his busy schedule of sailing around the world to stop in what is now Patagonia, where he found a naked giant dancing and singing on the shore. Magellan ordered one of his men to make contact (the unwitting emissary’s no doubt hilarious reaction to this sadly has been lost to history), and to be sure to reciprocate the dancing and singing to demonstrate friendship.
It worked. The man was able to lead the giant to a small island offshore, where the great captain waited. Describing the scene was a scholar along for the journey, Antonio Pigafetta, who kept a diary of the journey that was later turned into the book Magellan’s Voyage: A Narrative Account of the First Circumnavigation: “When he was before us, he began to marvel and to be afraid, and he raised one finger upward, believing that we came from heaven. And he was so tall that the tallest of us only came up to his waist,” and had a big, booming voice. The illustration above proves it—Patagonia was once inhabited by giants that positively dwarfed the heavenly Europeans that would come to conquer them.
Alright, maybe that isn’t airtight evidence. But it could well be that the people Magellan encountered, the Tehuelche, were indeed enormous, and that therefore this myth has some grounding in reality. And our trusty explorer would be damned if he wasn’t going to try to bring back evidence in pretty much the most obnoxious way you could imagine.
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READ MORE: Is This Ancient Greek Laptop Another Proof That Time Travel Is Possible?
Read more on The Forbidden Continent: Ancient Antenna Found At The Bottom of Antarctica’s Sea: Eltanin Antenna
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