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The Problem With Looking For A Reason To Love

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The Problem With Looking For A Reason To Love
Photo Credit: www.medium.com

Paul LendaGuest Writer

Love: It’s a word that is used often. Usually, it is attached to a person, place, or thing. The way it’s usually used suggests that there has to be an external point of focus for the energy of love to be present. However, this is not the case, and is actually conditional love.

It’s a bold statement to make, but there are many people today who are not actually in love, but instead like the idea of being loved. When it comes to an opportunity of sharing love with someone else, they find difficulty in doing so, because they are not already in the consciousness of love.

The Reason People Look Love

People often look for a reason to love. The issue with this is that when you need a reason, your love will be casual and conditional. This will ultimately lead to suffering, when the focus of that love is no longer there.

“If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others.” – Dalai Lama (Click here to buy his book).

Love has to first and foremost come from within you. If needs to be the energy that drives everything you think, say, and do. When it doesn’t, simply become aware of that being the case and bring your focus back to love.

Everybody falls into the traps of the separation illusion, which causes us to see things as distinct from us, yet under the surface, we’re all part of the same collective Source. This means we can find the light within everything, because everything ultimately comes from the same Source. The Source is called that because it is the origin of all that is…and all that is, was created in some way. The act of creation is an act of love. This is why it can be said that “making love” is a creative energy that literally brings physical creation into existence.

Love is the creative energy of Reality. When we align our awareness with love, we are able to love what others would be unable to find love for.

This ultimately comes down to you being able to love yourself. I’m not talking about some egoic version of infatuation with ourselves, but having love for ourselves. Being compassionate in this way helps us more easily love others, no matter who they are. If we don’t love ourselves, we will find it next to impossible to love others.

Love comes from within. When we look for it outside of ourselves, we will undoubtedly suffer when we cannot find something to either use as a point of focus for our love, or we will siphon energy from it. This can turn into a draining relationship in some cases, which will only cause additional suffering for both you and the other person.

People sometimes have trouble with loving themselves. They may feel some sort of shame, guilt, or other similar emotion. Ralph Waldo Emerson said that, “the love you withhold is the pain you carry.” It can be difficult to overcome trauma or suffering sometimes and love yourself. However, when you do give yourself the permission to be a generator of love, you can shift your consciousness and make anything possible. When you are loving towards yourself, you will find it easy to love others.

11 books that will shift your consciousness and change your life. (Click here to read the full article!)

Live a life that you will love and let love be the guide in your life. Everything you say, think, and do can be done with love. Otherwise, you will be searching for love and never find it. Love comes from the creative Source flame within you. You can always connect to it and let it flow and pulse out even more. The love coming from the eternal wellspring within you cannot be diminished by anything without you agreeing to it.

Love is the most powerful energy in existence. Connect with it and let it be your guide.

Recommended Articles by Paul Lenda
About the Author

Paul Lenda is a conscious evolution guide, founder & director of SHIFT, author, writer, speaker, meditation teacher, life coach, and ambassador for the New Paradigm wishing to provide an integral role in personal transformation and the collective social transformation of humanity. Paul offers private one-on-one holistic life counselling & conscious evolution sessions, via Skype or phone. Paul takes into account all aspects of the hyper dimensional matrix when providing guidance, counselling, and coaching.

You can connect with Paul via:

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Health

What Starts Happening When You Begin To Love Yourself More

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Study “Confirms That The Full Degree Of Harm Of Antidepressants Is Not Reported”
Photo Credit: www.medium.com

Paul LendaGuest Writer

Self-love is a tricky thing to navigate. On one hand, the distorted view is that it is a narcissistic ego-glorifying action. On the other, authentic self-love is honouring yourself in the sense that you, as much as anybody, deserve your own love. When you start loving and accepting yourself, something extraordinary happens.

You free yourself from everything unhealthy. This means physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Food, people, things, addictions, situations, and philosophies that were causing you harm will no longer have that power over you.

Love is an empowering energy. When you love yourself because you realize you are a consciousness fractal of the Source, you see the wonderment of your being directly. You then feel the wish to honour it, with the attention and care that it deserves. After all, you have this tremendous opportunity to be so directly able to manipulate Reality in this physical plane in a way that is only possible thanks to you being here. Your true inner being is love incarnate. The human mind and ego persona make us forget that sometimes.

The true you is an aspect of the love within all existence. In Lake’ Ch…I am another yourself.

Loving Yourself Leads to People Loving Themselves

The primary blueprint of reality has encoded within it the dynamics of interconnected wholeness. This means that any one part of the Whole affects the Whole. We can tie this into the idea of loving yourself leading others to love themselves. Again, we’re talking about authentic love, not egoic narcissism.

Things like stress send our energetic vibrations into the rest of the collective consciousness. They are ‘contagious’ and will affect the emotions and perceptions that others experience. This means that energetic waves of love also affect the Whole. The more you honour, care, respect, and love yourself, the more those vibrations permeate into the rest of the collective. They will be felt most closely to where you are physically located, but will ultimately have an effect on the entire noosphere.

Loving Yourself Frees Your Soul

Let love be the sweet elixir that awakens your soul and moves it to dance with Life. As the Shakyamuni Buddha once said, “Love yourself and be awake…today, tomorrow, always.” These to go hand-in-hand, because when you love yourself, you recognize what you truly are. You are awake to the true Self, that inner being and ‘higher’ Self that you embody.

Find a little love inside, and make this world better for you and I. We’re all in this together, all affecting one another. The more self-love you feel, the more you help others have self-love as well.

Jack Kornfield once asked us to reflect on three questions for ourselves to answer.

“In the end, these matter the most:

How well did you love?

How fully did you love?

How deeply did you let go?”

The world can be an overwhelming place these days. With so many forced to self-isolate, making personal connection like dancing, laughing, crying, hugging, kissing, and touching challenging. These are all needs as ancient as humans themselves. That is why, when you are unable to connect with others, you will need to look within to find that companion that you can feel love from. After all, this is the best source of love. Otherwise, we may get too dependent on others’ love; leading us to feel a void if we do not get it from them. This can lead to depression and all the repercussions of that state.

Love yourself, and you will have a continuous connection to the Source love that expresses itself through everyone, no matter how hard it may be to see in some people. Love yourself, and you will help others feel more love within themselves. Love yourself, and you will free your soul.

…..

A Good Book to Read:
Recommended Articles by Paul Lenda
About the Author

Paul Lenda is a conscious evolution guide, founder & director of SHIFT, author, writer, speaker, meditation teacher, life coach, and ambassador for the New Paradigm wishing to provide an integral role in personal transformation and the collective social transformation of humanity. Paul offers private one-on-one holistic life counselling & conscious evolution sessions, via Skype or phone. Paul takes into account all aspects of the hyper dimensional matrix when providing guidance, counselling, and coaching.

You can connect with Paul via:

Please SHARE this article with your family and friends.

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Health

Emotional Intelligence And Intimacy

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Emotional Intelligence And Intimacy
Photo Credit: Getty

Bernhard GuentherGuest Writer

Intimacy is often times mistaken for physical closeness: hugging, cuddling, kissing, sex. However, if there is no emotional intimacy, as in emotional relating and a feeling of safety in a relationship, then physical intimacy can only go that far.

For many people, physical intimacy comes easier than emotional intimacy. For others it is the other way around. Often time’s people avoid emotional intimacy by focusing on physical intimacy, using sex to buffer up their vulnerability. But iin order to truly open up to a partner and go deep, we need to feel safe and be able to share emotional intimacy, our fears, mistakes, and pains and receive each other with compassion and empathy. 

In order to be emotional intimate with a partner we need to be able to be intimate with ourselves, feeling our vulnerability without judgment and developing healthy self-love. If we are not comfortable with our own vulnerability, we cannot receive the vulnerability of another person fully and emotional intimacy is blocked. No matter how hot the sex and how great physical intimacy is, if we don’t develop or have emotional intimacy and the safety to express ourselves that way, a relationship can go only so far.

We need safety and healthy boundaries in order to establish intimacy on all levels. This safety is more than just feeling “secure” and boundaries don’t mean rejection or avoidance. It is about taking care of ourselves. Our body gives us constantly clues about what is safe for us and what not. The more we are in touch with our bodies, the more we can receive these messages which also puts us in touch with our vulnerability. It’s important to listen to these bodily sensations which go deeper than just sexual feelings. Most often they are buried under layers of “armor”. It’s easy to rationalize these deeper sensations away, judging ourselves for not opening up when it doesn’t feel safe. Don’t listen to the mind, trust your body and don’t judge yourself for however you feel.

Emotional intimacy goes hand in hand with trust, knowing that we can be completely ourselves with all our vulnerability and always be received with compassion and empathy in a safe container by a partner. But before we can receive another person like that ourselves, or even express ourselves that way, we must be able to be compassionate with ourselves and love ourselves, the dark and light, neither inflating or diminishing ourselves.

Otherwise we will keep looking for the illusory partner, who never comes and whom we want to be a certain way, when in fact this is what we need to give to ourselves first. Sometimes we’re looking for a “savior” in a partner unconsciously but it is a projection of what we have denied or avoided to give ourselves: healthy self-love, vulnerability and inner safety. Before we can develop deeper trust with a partner, we need to be able to trust ourselves and the deeper clues our bodies are giving us.

Living in a world with ever increasing technology and computerization we have become more and more disconnected from our bodies. We stare at a computer screen more than ever before, professionally or at home. We are glued to our smartphones. Children spend more time on play-stations, TV, and computers than playing outside. We have become desensitized and are not aware of how we hold and carry ourselves and how everyday life affects our bodies and overall health.

Most of us are so out of touch with our bodies that we don’t even sense these messages which could help us to make wiser decisions and choices. Our rational mind tends to over-ride the more subtle impressions of the body, the gut feeling, and the energetic clues that are perceived by the body. We may sense some tension in our bodies when something or someone feels off but tend to ignore it, getting stuck in our head and our thoughts. Mainstream education doesn’t teach us about body awareness and how to listen to our intuition and gut-feelings. We reward intellectual intelligence but have forgotten emotional intelligence and the intelligence of the body.

There are many ways to get in touch with our bodies (Bodywork, Yoga, Dance, Qi Gong, Tai Qi, to name a few…) in order to increase self-awareness and sensitivity to the energetic clues of our environment as well as release energy blocks, stress and trauma that is manifested in our bodies from our past and through daily living. A healthy body-mind is the foundation for good health and relationships: physical, emotional, and mental.

Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.” – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Recommended Articles by Bernhard Guenther
About the Author

Bernhard Guenther has had a lifelong interest in exploring the mysteries and hidden knowledge surrounding our planet and humanity’s origins, questioning the roots of what constitutes “reality”, and how social (and spiritual) conditioning impacts upon our collective search for the truth in all aspects of life.

His website “Piercing the Veil of Reality” is a wide-ranging collection of essays, webinars, films, and interviews, ranging from spirituality, shamanism, psychology, self-work, esotericism, history, to the paranormal and hyper dimensional realities. He also hosts the “Cosmic Matrix” podcast with his wife Laura Matsue.

Bernhard lives in California, working with individuals from all walks of life, helping them in their path of healing and wellness via Integrative Bodywork and Holistic Coaching. His clients enjoy his intuitive and compassionate approach in person or over Skype.

You can connect with Bernhard at:

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